Sleep Eludes Me

Listening to every sound around me…my husband snoring, the ticking clock, the melting snow dripping from the roof. My mind is everywhere but not where I want it to be. Unwinding after a long pain filled day is difficult but trying to unwind knowing the love of your life is in constant pain is a whole other beast. 

We never want to see the people we love in pain. 

We pray and beseech God to take away their pain and heal them. But the pain continues, the illness is still there. God does heal and He’s healed us in the past. I have no doubt He will heal yet again…It’s this patience thing I have a problem with. Waiting has always been difficult for me. 

Waiting in lines. 

Waiting in traffic.

Waiting in the doctor’s office. 

Waiting on God. 

Waiting and knowing that one day the healing will come all the while doing what we need to do. 

Our part in the healing process. Yes, praying. Yes, getting anointed. Yes, fasting. Yes, focusing on the joys. Yes, remembering all the miraculous healing God has done for us. Yes, continuing on with life. Yes, putting all our faith and belief in God to do what’s best for us. 

Acting on what we know. 

Faith and patience go hand-in-hand. You can’t have one without the other. 

But in the wee hours of the morning when the house is quiet, you’ll find me praying for God’s intervention in helping my husband be whole again!


Have you ever tried opening a window that would no budge no matter how hard you tried to open it. I did that this morning as I was trying to open my kitchen window. I tugged, I pulled, and it’s still not open. Not to mention that I had to climb up on the ledge behind my sink to do it. I was not so much afraid of falling into the sink as I was afraid of my robing opening up for the world to see. So I climbed down, got dressed and forgot about the window. I sat in the kitchen drinking my coffee and realizing that the window represented my life. I am always trying to open windows of opportunity that are not ready to be opened to me and that I’m not ready for them either.

Instead of getting dressed early this morning, I stayed in my robe. I wasn’t ready for the day, and from past experience I should know better than to attempt something when I wasn’t ready for it. Each time I try something that I’m not ready for, it turns out badly. My life is like that too. I’m always willing to jump into something new, always ready to take that new risk but never really ready for what might happen in the mean time. Not at all ready for the consequences that will prevail from my simple decisions.

Sometimes my windows of opportunity open easily, with the slightest movement they open wide and I get to experience what is waiting for me through the window. But why is it that I always want to open the windows that won’t budge? What makes me think that just by my strength alone I can make all the windows open? Besides I can only jump through one window at a time. I guess I need to pick and choose which window to open and when to open it.

Which window will open?

Which window will open?

I also need to be ready for the window to be open, not dressed in a robe, or not prepared mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, or physically. So how should I go about being in the state of preparedness all the time so I can open my windows of opportunity?

First, I pray about what windows God is going to help me unlock and open up so that I can have a breath of fresh air and so I can learn what I need to learn so I may help others and to get to the next level in my relationship with Him.

Second I keep a list of all my talents and skills and each day I glance through it remembering how I learned how to use them for good. Then I try to pinpoint one skill each day that I need to work on that will help me to help other people better.

Third I put myself out in the public. You can’t help people when you’re not around them. You can’t connect with people if you lead a secluded life. Most of the time opening windows of opportunity requires a group effort. You can’t do it on your own, no matter how you try. You need someone to lean on, who will help you see how and where you need to change in order to grow.

Be prepared because you never know when your window of opportunity will open and you’ll be given the chance to see your life differently. You’ll be able to grow beyond what you thought you ever could. Your talents and skills will be put to the test but the outcome is so well worth it.

Be ready for window opening opportunity that can change your life.


When was the last time you prayed? I know it’s a personal question equaled to “How much do you weigh?” But people are more apt to tell you how much they weigh then to tell you when they last prayed. The bible tells us that we should pray without ceasing, pray continually, never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17). But why is it that we look at praying as our last resort instead of the first action step we take toward life? Why do we save the best for last and do the least first? Shouldn’t we do the best first?

All my life I was told to pray like everything depended on God and work like everything depended on me. This was ingrained in me from a small child. It helped me understand that if I prayed first and then did everything I could then God would answer my prayer. It also helped me understand that no matter how much I did, if I didn’t continually pray about the circumstances in my life, my life wouldn’t make sense. And it’s true life doesn’t make sense when we are constantly saving the best for last and doing our little part, the least first.

Pray without ceasing!

Pray without ceasing!

I’ve heard many times from different people in my life “Let’s try this first, if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll pray.” Or the one statement that really gets under my skin…”I’ve tried everything else, I guess a prayer couldn’t hurt!” Prayer is the key to my day and the lock at night. Many times growing up I always thought I needed to go through bad times so that I prayed more, because let’s face it when we’re going through rough days or trials we spend more time in prayer then when times are good. But praying without ceasing means that we should be praying just as much in the good times as well as the bad.

When my sons were little we used to pray together all the time. One day while we were walking to the summer enrichment summer school, it started to rain really hard. So as we walked we prayed and asked God to either make it stop raining until we got to school, or provide us with a way to stay dry. We had just finished our prayer when we all looked at the sidewalk a couple of feet ahead of us and there was a large umbrella laying in our path. My sons and I looked up and praised and thanked God for answering our prayer.

Don’t save prayer as the last resort. Yes, God knows what’s going on in your life, He sees everything, He knows everything, He even sees what’s in your heart. We can’t hide anything from God. So pray, thank Him for all the blessings in your life. Ask Him for help with your health, your job, your family. Pray for protection, pray for strength.

Life will always give us something to pray about.

Do the best first, pray