I’m Sorry

Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian word representing the mantra “I’m sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I Love You. I find it’s easier to say these words to others, but to myself it’s extremely difficult. Maybe by practicing this we can obtain the health benefits that come from its practice of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Ho’oponopono literally means ‘to put to right; to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly, or neat.’ It’s a practice of reconciliation, forgiveness, and cleansing our minds of wrong thoughts.

Wow, this sent my mind to my favorite childhood book, Peter Pan. This passage from J.M. Barrie in Peter Pan, “Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children’s minds. It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day.”

Tidying up our minds before we go to bed helps us fall asleep easier and stay asleep. It’s common knowledge now that letting go of what has happened during the day is the best way to lay our heads down and get a deep sleep.

Putting things in their right place.

Personal Experience

From personal experience, I can tell you that I sleep better when can forgive others and myself instead of rehashing every word I spoke and overthinking every situation or decision I’ve made during the day. Plus, I feel better and more energetic when I let go of the reigns of holding on to everything. But I’m warning you now once you begin on this journey of ho’ponopono/forgiveness you’re going to have several questions arise when you do this…some of mine follow.

Why am I sorry?

What did I do to be sorry for?

Do I need forgiveness?

What did I do today where I need to be forgiven?

Am I also grateful for this forgiveness?

What is in the way of me loving myself?

Asking myself these questions became a nightly ritual because they came up on their own as I laid down all the baggage of my day into my journal. Letting go and tidying up my mind turned into a lifelong component never really going away but always helping me to get to the bottom of my life. When I stripped away everything that was holding me down, and forgave myself for not being that perfect daughter, that perfect friend, or perfect wife and mom I was able to work with myself and create the person I wanted to be. Each day is a new day to go after that person.

I’m sorry: Apologize for all the things you’ve done and words you’ve spoken that don’t go along with your vision.

Please Forgive Me: Forgive yourself for not accomplishing perfection and any other thing you’ve thought that isn’t moving you toward your vision.

Thank You: Being and living in gratitude helps you see all the blessings in your life and gives you a healing perspective.

I Love You: Loving yourself where you are is the only way to move forward in your health and life journey. Loving yourself needs to come first before you can love anyone else.

Be in Ho’oponopono on a daily basis. I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you will help you move forward on your health and live journey. Remember, it’s a daily task that takes us to our next word..

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THEY WERE RIGHT ON SO MANY LEVELS

Life is difficult as it is. We make it even more difficult when we do or say stupid things. So many times this year I’ve been reminded of my parents, especially with how a part of my life has turned out. I can still hear my father’s words when he expressed concern for me with a decision I made. He was concerned that my life would turn out to be one of control and hurt instead of love. I wish both my parents were here today, so I can tell them that my life has been filled with more love than I could have ever hoped for. I also wish they were here, so I could tell them that I now see why they were so concerned. My parents were right to be concerned. They were right on so many levels. 

They Were Right

Sometimes as parents we see things our children miss entirely, whether they are looking at the world through rose colored glasses or they just miss the boat entirely. My parents did that with me. They knew I was not able to see what they did those many years ago. It’s like when we’re teaching our children to cross the street. Our children hold our hands and we pull them back because we can see imminent danger and much more than they can at their young age. But when they’re older, grown, and on their own we can only voice our concern when it’s the right time to do so.

My parents were right on so many levels.

Here are some of the ways my parents were right on.

  • God’s way is simple. Man complicates it through disobedience.
  • You can tell a lot about a person’s character by watching how they treat people who have no power.
  • Eat from your own garden.
  • Share everything you have!
  • There’s always an alternative to modern medicine:
  •      Apricot Kernels
  •      Chelation Therapy
  •      Garlic
  •      Calcium
  •      Whiskey and honey
  • The right clothes show how much you respect yourself.
  • People who spend their lives lecturing the mistakes of others, never really look at themselves.
  • You don’t need a mirror to see who you really are.
  • If you can’t forgive and forget, then you can’t truly love.

It’s takes maturity to discern maturely. We can’t always be there for our children but we can teach them that with maturity comes discernment. In order to do this we must be the living examples of that maturity. I’m so thankful my parents voiced their concern so many years ago. I’m also thankful that I now see what they did.

They were right on so many levels. 

 

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING

I must admit, I too am part of the group of people who sometimes lets the circumstances of life get to her. Let’s face it we all have days and sometimes weeks where we get down and need to take some time to regroup and regather our thoughts. That’s what this time away has been for me. It’s been a long time coming with what I’ve been dealing with these last few months.

So many times I think we always feel the need to keep going no matter what happens in our lives, that we lose focus of what’s really important to us. We can get up every morning and still have the same feelings of the day before if we don’t deal with them before we go to bed.

Last week I heard a message from John Maxwell and then something similar from Rick Warren about how it doesn’t matter how much you can get done in a day. What matters most is how much have you imitated God in a day. Last week I wrote “Was I an imitator of God today?” and posted it on the wall that I see first thing in the morning and in my bathroom where it is the last thing I see before retiring at night.

Was I am imitator of God today

I don’t find the answers to this question in my list of things to do. I find the answers to this question from my prayers for the people in my life and even my  enemies,the smiles I give to strangers, the helping hand I give to someone in need, the uplifting words I used throughout the day, the forgiveness I give to people who have hurt me (and continue to hurt me), the ability to turn the other cheek when accusations are hurled at me, standing up for the truth of God, the compassion I show, and the love that I show to all people I come into contact with. 

I stopped making a to-do list and started concentrating on this question each day.  When I was in school and had to read a large section of text for assignments I would read through the questions at the end of the sections, because it made me focus more on the answers when they presented themselves. So when I read the question “Was I an imitator of God today?”in the morning, it opens me up to opportunities where I can imitate God with the talents He gave me.

I’m not saying that just reading the question will make things happen, you have to have faith and be willing to put yourself to the side to  learn how to live God’s way of life. You can’t imitate anyone unless you know them. So in order to know God you need to read His Word. Study His Word. Meditate on His Word and Pray.

So while it’s been a long time coming, it has been a time where I regrouped and refocused my thoughts to what’s really important for me.

To quote a famous coach, Vince Lombardi, and the CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer:

“God, family, and everything else; in that order!”

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGHER

My parents never told me that life was a fun amusement park ride. Roller coasters is what my parents likened to life. Sometimes you’re going uphill frightful of what will be at the top and even more frightful at what will be around the next turn. Working your way up the hill, there is no pleasure except for knowing that you’ve done all you can and need to wait and see what life has left to offer. “When the going gets tougher,” my father used to say, “is when we really get to see what people are really made of.”

I’m not a person who likes going through tough times, but then I don’t think anyone really enjoys tough times. Sometimes we just need a break from our own life and need some breathing room to regroup and enjoy what we have. The economic times we have now, are too much for people to take. It’s a whole new ball game then when my father said those words to me. He told me those words on my high school graduation day 32 years ago. Even though times have changed, and economic conditions are worse, the words are still true.

The more famous phrase goes like this “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” My father’s version says so much more. People who go through really tough times like those who’ve lost everything in Moore, Oklahoma become resilient in their fight to make the most of what they do have. They don’t let a moment go by without telling the people in their lives how much they love them. As times get even tougher we need each other more and more, it’s the people in our lives that help us get through tougher times.

Words Every Family Should Know

How do we get over our faults, our hurts, our disappointments, our lack of forgiveness and understanding?It’s really simple. When two people have a misunderstanding, both must be willing to listen without judging. There are three-word increments that can rectify every misunderstanding, but only when both parties are willing to listen:

I AM SORRY!

PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

I LOVE YOU!

These are not weak words, they strengthen relationships when said appropriately. They bridge the gaps between families. Tougher times are coming and families are being ripped apart when they need to stand strong against the mighty wind. Use these words often and your family will stay strong.

When the going gets tougher, where will your family be?