What I Need, When I Needed it

Have you ever noticed that things come into your life at exactly the right moment, not five minutes later or a day ahead, but at the precise moment that you need and are ready to accept what is being given? I’ve been working on a lot of different projects since my last blog post in January. I’ve pushed writing aside several times to focus on my full-time job. But now every turn in the road seems to bring me back to writing, not to help others (though I’m glad my writing can fill that need), but for my own sanity. I am really thinking God gave me this talent of writing so I can figure things out in my own head and have a hard copy of my thoughts. When I write for the sake of collecting my thoughts in one spot, I can read them and think “Do I keep them or should I toss them aside?”

As with other parts of my life writing is a constant companion. I am constantly writing in my job, but it’s more sales letters and emails, nothing that has anything profound about living, wellness, or change. Frankly, when I work all day on a computer I don’t want to spend the rest of my day working on a computer.

So what makes now so different. Last week I watched a Brendon Burchard video on “How Not to Set Goals“. This video stressed the importance of D.U.M.B. goals. This one video changed my focus since I watched it. Why this? Why now?

Well, I was looking for something motivating to watch as I was going through a tough time at work. My boss is very left-brained. She lives in her spreadsheets. Now that’s not a bad thing but when you try to control a right-brained person with left-brained tools the right-brained person feels like a fish out of water and balks at every turn. I am that right-brained person. I think outside the box, whereas my boss is the left-brained person and needs to put everyone inside the box or she feels a loss of control. Needless to say, it’s a bit stressful for me sometimes. So when I stumbled upon this idea of setting D.U.M.B. goals it made sense to me and helped me in understanding why I never made the S.M.A.R.T. ones in the first place.

What’s a D.U.M.B. goal?

D: Dream Driven (Thinking way outside the box) Something that fires you up. Something you contribute to the world. Asking yourself at the end of your life “What things would make your life meaningful?”

U: Uplifting: Our words matter. Gaining something rather than losing something. I want to lose weight today is not uplifting. Make the goal attractive, compelling and important to you. Turn I want to lose weight today into I am going to feel so fit, vibrant and beautiful to the world that it exudes out of my skin.

M: Method Friendly: What practices can you surround this goal that make it achievable? Can you make a map around it, what processes can you bring to this goal that makes attaining it achievable easier. These practices, processes, or map helps us to live in the goal consistently. Some examples of a method would be to go to a Pilates class three times a week, three times a week you’ll do some sort of High-Intensity Training.  Same thing when it comes to eating. Add a new method to your plan: Drink some Rocket Coffee every morning, have a protein shake for lunch every day. Make these methods something you can repeat over and over and over (consistency).

B: Behavior driven: Triggers set up to make you do this. Examples: I am going to think these five things right before I go to the grocery store, I am going to only shop the outside aisles of the grocery store, Every time I waiting in line ask yourself “What am I focusing on and How do I feel?” If you want to be vibrant you have to feel vibrant.

I’ve been using this pattern all week long and I’ve been able to gain vibrancy and peace of mind. Creating my D.U.M.B. goals this week for work had me thinking not so much on what I wanted to accomplish for the week, like a task list, but more on the big picture of where I want my life to be. My work goals became D.U.M.B. goals too. Did I accomplish them yes, and it was so much easier than writing in a spreadsheet all the things I did for the day.

Want to make your life less stress filled? Make some D.U.M.B. goals. If you’re right brained like me, it’s the smart way to go.

Has nothing to do with this post, but I love this photo of myself and my new friend Leo.

Has nothing to do with this post, but I love this photo of myself and my new friend Leo.

AN INHERITANCE

How many times have you thought or said something that sounds just like what would come out of your mother’s or father’s mouth? I used to hear myself talking or yelling at my kids and just stop because I sounded just like my own mom, when she yelled at me. She yelled at me more times than I care to remember. I think the inheritance we give our children is filled with our faults as well as our attributes. When we think of an inheritance we usually think about wealth, land, and family heirlooms but our words hold our inheritance too.

family inheritance

There have been numerous times when we compare our children to ourselves and ourselves to our own parents by our behaviors. Telling our children they are acting just like their father or mother when they misbehave will instill in them that it’s okay to act out in a negative way. This negative behavior is carried with them into adulthood and it becomes a part of who they are to the point of being a fault but not knowing how to stop the behavior.

Yes, we inherit the faults and attributes of our parents, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t build upon what we inherit. If we inherit land or wealth from our parents do we just let it go into ruin like we do when we inherit their faults? No we protect it, we invest it, and we find ways to keep the inheritance growing so we can pass it down to our own children. So why do we let the faults of our parents eat us away and destroy that which is good in us?

Many times I think “Oh what’s the use, it’s never going to work out.” These are the exact words my mom used to tell me whenever I was designing a new dress, sweater, or pattern for my own clothes. I have to make a constant effort to stop that thought, because it destroys any hope of doing anything that I set my mind to. It creates negativity. I also have a constant battle going on in my mind because my father’s words are also there too. But his words were always softer to me and whole lot more positive. His words, “You can do anything you set your mind to!” “I knew you could do it!” “Don’t let anyone steal your thunder!” My father was always encouraging me to be the best me possible. But it’s interesting that the negative is what I hear loud and clear in my head over the positive. Only when I consciously push the negative words of my mother out of my head is when I can hear my father’s encouraging words.

There are people in our lives who sit back and can’t remember a time when their own parents encouraged them. This is a sad inheritance to bestow on children. This lack of encouragement gets passed down to their children and their grandchildren. We need to remember that our words come from our hearts and minds. If we don’t control our minds and speak positively to our children we are giving them an inheritance of pain, misery, confusion, and chaos.

Proverbs 13:22 “The good leave an inheritance to their children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

If you want to children’s children to have a good heart and mind, you must mind your words today.

Stop yelling at them. Encourage them.

Stop using sarcasm. Encourage them.

Stop swearing at them. Encourage them.

Praise them. Encourage them.

Encourage them. Encourage them.

YOUR BEHAVIOR REFLECTS YOUR BELIEFS

There is a image floating around social media that says “your beliefs don’t make you a better person your behavior does.” This saying is totally misguided because it is our beliefs that become our behavior, whether that behavior is good or not.  Each and every one of us have beliefs about every aspect of life, and it is all of those beliefs that make us behave in a certain way. Some beliefs make us better versions of ourselves. Our beliefs should not be used to one-up or put down people.  What does this have to do with our health? Everything. Because what you believe you bring about. Your behavior reflects your beliefs.

My Beliefs

Everything in our lives is connected to who we are and what we say and do. Our beliefs are so connected to our behavior that we thoroughly need to keep a constant eye on what we believe to make sure that we are exhibiting that. If you have positive health beliefs then you’ll have positive health behaviors. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t go around believing that you’re in tip-top health if you’re behavior shows everyone that you’re a junk food junkie.  You can’t keep eating all the junk food and expect to lose weight and be healthy. 

A short glimpse into this is through a close personal friend. She reads everything she can get her hands on to read about health. She has cabinets full of health supplements and vitamins, yet she is still one of the sickest people I know. Why? Because all that knowledge she has, she refuses to put to use. Her health behavior is in direct correlation to her beliefs. When she thinks something is working, she is healthier. But when her belief in a supplement or treatment wanes, she becomes sicker because her belief leads her into faulty behaviors of the past.

I always have to ask myself, “Am I like this?” after spending time with her. And sometimes I am. I believe that exercise is a key component to everyone’s health, and it’s often the one thing that is left out of a health plan. Sometimes because of my own health issues, I don’t like to exercise and I will balk at even the mention of a walk, all the while knowing that if I just went for the walk I’d feel better.

I’m hoping  I’m not the only one who goes through her many beliefs and tries to figure out the references that hold up those beliefs. It’s not a new concept. It’s been around for years. Every belief we have, has references that hold it up just like a table.  Remove the references (legs) and the belief falls down, just like a table.

Change the references of your beliefs.

Change your beliefs.

Change your behavior. 

 

TIP #30: AN INHERITANCE

How many times have you thought or said something that sounds just like what would come out of your mother’s or father’s mouth? I used to hear myself talking or yelling at my kids and just stop because I sounded just like my own mom, when she yelled at me. She yelled at me more times than I care to remember. I think the inheritance we give our children is filled with our faults as well as our attributes. When we think of an inheritance we usually think about wealth, land, and family heirlooms but our words hold our inheritance too.

family inheritance

There have been numerous times when we compare our children to ourselves and ourselves to our own parents by our behaviors. Telling our children they are acting just like their father or mother when they misbehave will instill in them that it’s okay to act out in a negative way. This negative behavior is carried with them into adulthood and it becomes a part of who they are to the point of being a fault but not knowing how to stop the behavior.

Yes, we inherit the faults and attributes of our parents, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t build upon what we inherit. If we inherit land or wealth from our parents do we just let it go into ruin like we do when we inherit their faults? No we protect it, we invest it, and we find ways to keep the inheritance growing so we can pass it down to our own children. So why do we let the faults of our parents eat us away and destroy that which is good in us?

Many times I think “Oh what’s the use, it’s never going to work out.” These are the exact words my mom used to tell me whenever I was designing a new dress, sweater, or pattern for my own clothes. I have to make a constant effort to stop that thought, because it destroys any hope of doing anything that I set my mind to. It creates negativity. I also have a constant battle going on in my mind because my father’s words are also there too. But his words were always softer to me and whole lot more positive. His words, “You can do anything you set your mind to!” “I knew you could do it!” “Don’t let anyone steal your thunder!” My father was always encouraging me to be the best me possible. But it’s interesting that the negative is what I hear loud and clear in my head over the positive. Only when I consciously push the negative words of my mother out of my head is when I can hear my father’s encouraging words.

There are people in our lives who sit back and can’t remember a time when their own parents encouraged them. This is a sad inheritance to bestow on children. This lack of encouragement gets passed down to their children and their grandchildren. We need to remember that our words come from our hearts and minds. If we don’t control our minds and speak positively to our children we are giving them an inheritance of pain, misery, confusion, and chaos.

Proverbs 13:22 “The good leave an inheritance to their children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

If you want to children’s children to have a good heart and mind, you must mind your words today.

Stop yelling at them. Encourage them.

Stop using sarcasm. Encourage them.

Stop swearing at them. Encourage them.

Praise them. Encourage them.

Encourage them. Encourage them.